Rabbi Howard Morrison

Yesterday, Sunday May 8, was Mother's Day. In 1960, Mother's Day also fell on Sunday May 8, and I was born at 2AM on the Monday. I used to tease my mother that Judaism teaches a concept called, "Ain M'arvin simcha B'simcha - one does not comingle two joys at the same time. Thus, I entered the world a couple of hours into the following day.

Over the years, my mother instructed me that in Judaism, every day is mother's and father's day - based on the Mitzvah of honoring one's parents as found in the Ten Commandments and of revering one's parents as found in the past week's Parsha.

Actually, in Judaism, there is one particular day usually overlooked which is a Mother's Day. The eleventh of Cheshvan is considered the Yahrzeit of Rahel Imenu - Rachel our Matriarch. The eleventh of Cheshvan is forty-one days after Rosh Hashanah, and the letters for 41, Mem and Alef, spell the word, "Aim," meaning mother. 

On Rosh Hashanah, we read a Haftarah from Jeremiah in which Matriarch Rachel is personified as the mother who weeps after her children have been exiled to Babylon, refusing to be comforted until their return to the borders of the promised land. I hope and pray that since 1948 and 1967 the metaphoric Rachel is beginning to celebrate a bit more. 

When one recites Eishet Chayil - the Woman of Valor at the Shabbat table on Friday nights, one is honoring not only one's wife, but all the women and mothers of Israel. I personally have continued to recite the Woman of Valor of passage even when not married, as I gaze at a picture of my mother and father taken on their wedding day. 

In our Torah, the Mitzvah to honor one's parents places the father before the mother, and the Mitzvah in Parshat Kedoshim to revere one's parents places the mother before the father. Perhaps in generations long ago, it was more natural to honor the mother and more natural to revere the father. Thus, the Torah reverses the sequence in both contexts to properly balance the requirements of honoring and revering, both, our moms and our dads.

In this past Parsha, the fullness of the verse reads as follows: "You shall each revere his mother and his father, and keep my Sabbaths: I am the Lord (Lev. 19:3)." In Jewish law, revering one's parents is superseded by observance of Shabbat. Our parents are not allowed to obligate us to violate Shabbat, except for the case of a health concern. Not sitting in one's parent's chair, not interrupting one's parents, and not contradicting one's parents in a disrespectful way are all included in the Mitzvah of "You shall each revere his mother and father."

There is nothing wrong with honoring our mothers on mother's day. By all means, give them flowers, treat them for a meal, and treat them kindly. But let us take note that each and every day is mother's day, and that Judaism provides us with a particular day in the year when the memory and values of one of our founding four matriarchs is cherished for us to emulate.

May the memories of our mothers of the past, the honor due to our mothers in the present, and the hopes and aspirations of new mothers to be in the future, all serve to connect us to the Jewishness of our families, our communities, and our heritage.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Howard Morrison