Rabbi Howard Morrison

In the last couple of weeks, I have had to recite "Vidui Al Ha'Mitah - the death bed confessional" with shul members who were imminently going to pass away. These passages are akin to a mini-Yom Kippur. The last few verses are the same as the final verses of Neilah recited at the end of Yom Kippur, including the recitation of "Shma Yisrael." 

In this prayer, one prays to God to be forgiven for any unreconciled wrongdoings on this earth. The idea is to prepare one to exit from this world purely, as one entered this world purely. In conversation, I always encourage the dying person to try to make amends with loved ones and/or friends with whom there may be some outstanding issues. Suffice to say - all of this is easier said than done, but one should try.

I am reminded of this week's Parsha. Joseph as viceroy of Egypt stands in front of his brothers. They do not know that he is Joseph. It would be easy for Joseph to punish them and hold a grudge for the way they treated him years earlier when they threw him into a pit and subsequently sold him to Egypt. Ultimately, Joseph breaks down, weeps, and identifies himself to his brothers. While he can never forget what they did to him, he is able to forgive them and establish a positive relationship with his brothers.

In our lives, we are not expected to forget the wrongdoings that have befallen us from family or friends. Forgiveness is not about forgetting or letting an aggressor off the hook. Forgiveness is about removing a heavy weight from our own shoulders which keeps us from moving forward with our lives. Suffice to say - all of this is easier said than done, but one should try.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Howard Morrison